You CAN Go Home Again

I spent last weekend with my friends from high school. It was interesting, fun, heartwarming, surprising, and enjoyable. My graduating class was small; 113. Some of us have attended every reunion and some came for the very first time. The overwhelming feeling was of affection. I really love these people. They are warm, sincere, genuine and I felt happy in their presence.

It was an interesting experience because I loved learning about their lives in the last thirty years; where they live, who they married, how they spend their time.

It was fun because I realized that it doesn't matter how much time has gone by, we are inherently the same people, just older, wiser and more forgiving. We can still laugh about things from the past and discuss pertinent issues about our lives today. We're friends.

It was heartwarming because I realized they are part of my foundation, my core. They knew me when; when we were growing up, discovering who we were, making life choices that would define us as adults. We influenced each other's lives. We also talked about those who are no longer with us. They were part of us, but they are not able to be with us, so we share our memories and we validate their short lives.

It was surprising because I visited with spouses of my friends and added new friends to my circle. I chatted with people that I didn't really know very well in high school, who moved in different circles, and was delighted at how interesting and nice they are. I kept asking myself "Why didn't I take the time to know this person then?" I missed out.

I thoroughly enjoyed my day; from lunch in the afternoon with my cheerleading pals, to running around the countryside looking for locals who had not registered to attend. I loved greeting each friend with a smile and a hug. I loved the awkwardness of having to read name tags because I just couldn't place a face. The grilled steak and baked potato were delicious. I enjoyed the beautiful pavilion on the lake, the downpour of rain and the roaring fire in the fireplace that kept us from getting chilled. It was a perfect reunion.

I can't wait to do it again in five years!

Happy Anniversary to us

Today is my 21st anniversary. I was telling Quinn this morning that it seemed to take forever to get to my 21st birthday and that I can't believe we have been married that long already. It hasn't been easy... we were both "blessed" with stubborn personalities. I am learning, however, that you make your choices in life and that you must also choose the attitude to accompany them.

A good friend let me borrow a movie called Fireproof. I've realized for some time that if I want a better quality relationship (with anyone), change begins with me. This movie showed me that I must do more than wish for change or hold my temper, tongue, etc. That is important, but I must show more love, show more kindness. I must love others, no matter what I am feeling for them at the moment. I am embarrassed to say that I am not very good at this. My feelings kinda rule my world. I'm 47 years old... its time for a real change. Love is a verb, not an adjective.

I've never been a big fan of Dr. Laura's radio show, but I got a hold of a couple of her books (on the clearance rack at work) and I have been reading... and thinking... and realizing what must be done. She has some very profound things to say... to me, at least.

So, husband dear, this is my anniversary gift to you: a new and improved attitude and hopefully a gentler, kinder life partner. Sorry it has taken me so long to get to this place... maybe it's just the stubborness in me :)

Count your many blessings...

I've been feeling a little down lately, so I am going to think positive. Here is a random list of things I am grateful for.

people with a sense of humor

bird songs

sunshine

my husband's good job and his dedication to work hard

my daughter's funny doodles

my son's piano music that fills the house

kind Germans who feed my oldest son really good food

a really comfortable bed

my loyal little dog

friends who love me no matter what

continuous learning

freedom

the love and mercy of my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ

a car that gets me where I need to go (with bells and whistles)

a beautiful, diverse world

wise people who share their wisdom

So Far Away...

I am really getting into the whole "missionary mom" thing. I have my map of Germany on the wall with a star to mark the town where he lives. I just recently finished two Rick Steves DVD's about Germany (Austria and Switzerland, too) and yesterday, I checked out some elementary "learn German" audio books. Now, before you say that I am going a little overboard, German was my language of choice for high school. I was all signed up to take German 1 as a freshman, when my family moved to a smaller school and Spanish was my only option. I took it, to get into the college of my choice, but I always felt bad that it wasn't German.

I also have three lines in my family history from Germany. I admit that I haven't had the keen interest about Germany that I have had about England (another family line), but I have studied it a little and now my interest is really charged up. I didn't know what I was missing! Besides gorgeous scenery and an interesting history, Germany has a lot to offer. I want to visit someday. I want to see the pretty postcard landscapes of the castles on the Rhine. I want to visit the museums and villages and see where history was made. Maybe its the German in me, but I want to see where my people came from.

I want to meet the people in Lauenburg; the new friends that Michael has made. The people who are feeding him dinner each night. The people who are sharing their light with him, and giving him encouragement and comfort when he is so far from home. Lauenburg is a small city of almost 12,000. It was established in the early 1100's. Can you imagine? It's been around a long time and it is picturesque. Michael says that Germany is so different from the States in many ways, and so very similar in other ways. I can't wait to experience that. There really is so much to see and learn and appreciate in this world of ours.

The Big Adventure begins...

We just spoke with Michael for an hour and fifteen minutes. It was wonderful. The phone rang and the caller id said "pay phone". Chelsea quickly answered it. I had just returned home from picking up the younger kids from school. They miss him and wanted to hear his voice. He had a three hour layover in Atlanta. He got off the plane, went to the international concourse and grabbed a bite from Panda Express. Then he and his travel group found some pay phones and made their calls.

He said he had only gotten thirty minutes of sleep last night... he stayed up late packing then had to be at the travel office at 3:30 am. Then, there was the drive to Salt Lake and a plane leaving at 7:05 am. He was very tired, but he sounded good. I hope he can get some sleep on the trans-Atlantic flight. He stops in Paris for a few hours, then on to Hamburg.

I am so excited for him. He sounds so happy. I know he's nervous, but he is also looking forward to the challenge. He was full of information about his two months at the MTC; the routine, the food, the new friends he has made. The fun thing about the MTC is that the groups stagger in every few weeks. He already has friends working in the Hamburg mission, and in a month or so, more friends will join him. He also bade farewell to some good friends going to the Munich/Austria mission. It will be a few years before he see them again.

We told him the latest news we could think of; new mission calls, an engagement. I asked him if he was homesick and he said he was OK. He is anxious to get to Europe and begin the big adventure. It will be an adventure for us, too. I already have the map of Germany posted on the family room wall. Every time he gets a transfer, there will be a new star on the map. And even though life goes on here in Phoenix Arizona, he will be writing home with the news of new places and experiences and more new friends. In a way, I feel a little envious. But, at the same time, we get to share in the adventure as a family, and hopefully, he won't be the only one growing and progressing.

Ahhh, Spring Break.....

I always love a break from the routine.... it has been a chore for me to drive my kids to school each morning (one trip per child). I suppose it's crossing the boulevard without a light in heavy traffic, or trying not to get hit by wild teenage drivers as I navigate through the high school parking lot. Whatever the reason, it was WONDERFUL to sleep in this morning and NOT drive the kids to school. Don't get me wrong... I understand what a blessing it is for the kids to get an excellent education at this school. And I really don't mind the routine, now that I've been doing this for seven months. But it is nice to have a break.... no schedules, no demands. And the sun is shining. And we have several days this week, where I don't have to work, that we can do something fun together. It's a time of relaxation and rejuvenation, for the mom, as well as the kids. I will enjoy each and every day of this Spring Break.

On children leaving the nest...

I got a really positive, happy letter from my oldest son today, who is exactly a 12 hours drive north of me. I look forward each week to his email... I know that it usually arrives in my inbox between 4:30 and 5 pm every Thursday. Today, he had his travel plans. He leaves from Salt Lake City for Germany on 17 March and will touch down in Atlanta and Paris before he arrives in Hamburg.

I have dealt with his absence very well... I am happy about the choices he has made in his life and I believe in what he is doing. Perhaps the fact that I served as a missionary myself helps me to know what his daily life is like right now, as he is studying the language and preparing to teach people about Jesus Christ. I know where he is staying ... I lived in that town for eight years. Because he is in a familiar place and doing something that I am familiar with, I have been at peace with him leaving home for the first time.

So, I am a bit surprised at the little gnawing feeling that has creeped into my stomach today. When he gets on that plane in twelve days, he will be going to a place I have never been before, and working and living in a culture unfamiliar to me. Will he adjust quickly? Will he be homesick while he continues to learn a language and struggles to communicate with people? Will he like the food? Will he see this as a grand adventure and step right up to the plate?

Mothers tend to wonder if they have prepared their children for life outside of the nest. I know that he is smart and capable. I know this is where he wants to be. I know that he is in God's hands. I know I will miss him, and worry about him and hope that he is embracing the challenges as well as the joys that will come his way. He is growing up.